Terrorist R & D

Original underwear bomb,  shit stains and all.

The so-called Master Bomb makers have been busy bees on PCP.  They have made leaps and bound, discovering new uses for PETN, the cheap yet effective explosive.  They started off putting it in some assholes shoes, than placed it on some punk’s shit stained undis, placed it in ink cartridges, and again in some underwear (fixated lot).  If they put as much effort into figuring out malevolent (but idiotic) forms of surreptitiously putting the explosive near or on a “high priority target”, they could have used that same gusto to figure out beneficial purposes for PETN.  What?  There already is a medical use for it.  Angina? What in the name of Ford is Angina?  No, that’s not going to cut it.  It needs to be a sexier malady in order to wean the terror mongers away from bombs and turn them into healing mongers.  Maybe we could use blood restriction to the heart, call these guys heart makers instead of bomb makers.  Right there I just ended the war on terror.  You’re welcome.  Angina.  That ugly sounding word aint going to put a dent on the War on Terror.

Pagan Idol

Tune in tonight as one of your Pagan Idols is eliminated.  Watch the Gorgon Stheno take on the less than intelligent Vanatühi.  Who will win your prayers decide.  

Wow these guys work quick.  Just hours after Obama's surprise pop-in to Afghanistan,  The Taliban have retaliated.  A cowardly car bomber and his cronies attacked a compound were non-Afghanis were  housed.  The Taliban hate the pop-in more than Jerry Seinfeld hates the pop-in.  Times like these, I wish for the existence of an all powerful deity that doles out judgement, Anubis 2.0.  But the universe is random and devoid of inherent meaning.  What's left?  Bleating and braying until my voice is horse

En Vivo

Do yourself a favor and listen to this live performance by Joy Division.  From the depths of anguish, this is Joy Division.

Adios Amigos

AP photo by Kevin Lamarque

Obama made a historical speech today announcing the States' complete withdrawal from Afghanistan.  Insert caveat here: by 2014.  Obama arrived in Kabul like a phantom under "the darkness of war" to sign a "strategic partnership agreement" with the incorruptible and oh so steadfast Hamid Karzai. Here's to two more years of unmitigated success.

China Sucks

Chairman Jintao

When I hear people say that they want to compete with China I instantly chuckle.  Ostensibly  I am laughing to my hearts content.  Deep down my fecal-filled colon clenches  because I am terrified of what "competing" with China entails: Cheap labor provide by the rural second-class citizenry (makes apartheid South Africa look like a hippie commune); horrible work conditions; forced sterilization and abortions; beating up blind people; and any other horrible conceptions that the Party can concoct for kicks.  Certain political players seem to are already taking measures to Chinafy this country by passing laws that regulate women's reproductive organs, suppress voter turnout, turn back fair wage laws, and other acts reserved for the darkest chambers of Pandemonium.  Finally to Cheng Guancheng I say: Keep your fingertips on the prize.

The UnApotheosis of Washington

The Apotheosis of Washington

People need a leader like George Washington.  These so-called leaders, that we ostensibly elect into power, seek out positions that grant them power, and what do they do with that power?  Fuck shit up.  We need a George Washington type to lead countries around the world.  I do not expound this belief because I have been indoctrinated, through many years of history lessons, to think that Gorge Washington is some sort of God figure, with Abraham Lincoln as his only begotten son.  But because he was a reluctant president and general who was damn good at being an administrator.  He knew how to manage situations and people so that shit would get done.  No platitudinous speeches.  NO BS.

Robotspierre

A Futuristic Reign of Terror

Scared of Death, Terrified of Life

Goya's Atropos

Just thought it was a pithy statement.

No backtracking Bullshit

Deer Hunter Ted Nugent had some words about Barack Obama's possible reelection.  He said if Barry were to be elected in November, he, meaning Ted, would be in jail or dead.  But now that the Secret Service is all up on his business, Ted Nugent is trying to pass his words as hyperbolic rhetoric.  I wish that conservatives would stick to their guns.

North Korean Missile: The high cost of assholedom

Picture from the AP

Wonder how much the long range missile that N. Korea fired today costs?  Its less than $1 billion but more than $1.  It cost $855 million dollars to launch a long range missile.  That's a lot of gaksu.  Don't be surprise if they're filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.

The Discovery of The First Super Powered Mutant

George “The Killer Man” Zimmermann has been identified as the first Super Powered Mutant.  These abilities first manifested themselves after he shot and killed Trayvon Martin.  His powers seem to be an advanced healing factor, which allows him to recover from bodily harm at a faster rate than your average dick-hole.  Although he sustained a massive beating from unarmed Trayvon, suffering a broken nose and a gash to the back of his head, video from the night of the attack depicts a healthy, unharmed Robert Zimmermann.  Even the clothes he wears seem to recover from damage.  Zimmerman’s power could have the potential for both military and haute couture applications.

Rodin Vs Godzilla

Makes you "think".

Cops Are Pussies

Cops shot some dude outside of a Monterey Park Car's Jr.  There has to be a better ways to subdue a man equipped with a crowbar especially if you have the numbers.  The Police were quoted as saying that the suspect swung his crowbar at them.  I think their definition of swing is different than the rest of the world.  Excessive force was obviously used by the police officers; the suspect was shot five times, went down, and was shot a few more times for good measure.  Cops have to deal with tough stressful situations and that fact can never be divorced from there occupations.  But seriously shooting the guy when he was already down, he must have taken another violent swing at the floor at the same time that he was swallowing his own blood.  Man up cops.  Employ some of your disarming techniques, hurl insults at the guy, throw rocks at the guy, talk him down, wear him out.  Don't try and make the job as simple as possible.  If it was, any asshole could carry a badge and a gun and shoot his way to commendations and promotions.

No More Combining Jeans With Sport Coats

I'm tired of seeing dudes combining jeans with a sports coat.  "Hey look I'm a hip successful urbanite, not some minion of Cthulhu, who through consumerism will bring his destructive return."  It is a subterfuge to try and seem more casual but the guys that do it are haughty dicks.  Although sport coats did have their beginnings as leisurely attire, it is now seen as more formal wear.  So make your choice: Rick Blaine or Joey Ramone.

Memorials Make Tools

Japanese America Claiming his Americanness after Pearl Harbor.  Sneaky Jap.
Photograph by Dorothy Lange

Memorials are made to help us remember certain events, not always a tragic, or people, most likely dead.  That seems a fitting way to honor people and events that have had great significance for posterity.  It keeps the memories of these people and events alive long after they occurred.  However, I have a problem with people using memorials either to obscure certain facts that occurred or worse; completely change or omit the facts about past events.  What comes to mind, apropos, is Pearl Harbor.  The Memorial and all other celebrations surrounding that day don’t consider the events that led up to and followed that wretched day; American expansion into the Pacific caused an inevitable confrontation between the two big dogs in Michael Vick’s cadre of dogfighters; and after Pearl Harbor, the horrible policy enacted towards Japanese Americans, placing them in concentration camps, although we refer to them as internment camps now (concentration camp has such an ugly reverberation to it because of those Nazi dicks).  People will just assume that the treacherous Charlie Chan'ed mustachioed, bucktooth Japanese had nothing better to do on December 7th.  I am not trying to excuse the actions of the Japanese, it was cowardly yet well planned attack (think of the logistics involved, put UPS to shame) but we must not look at this event with rose colored glasses: it showed the world Americas resilience.  We must look at this event in conjunction with other concurrent crucial events.  It is necessary for people to remember antecedents and what they mean to us as individuals and as an amalgam of disparate peoples.  But we must not let memorials be used as tools of deception and indoctrination, best way to do this is to read as many books on the given subject, that way you can have your own informed views on the events that said memorial is memorializing.  To reiterate: I implore everybody to read because if we don’t, through underuse, though could become a vestigial structure. 

Occupy Wall Street Eviction

My boy, Langhorne

These occupy wall street pussies are getting kicked out of downtown Los Angeles.  As in other post I don't want to encourage violence but these protestors need to sack-up.  Non violence only works when you have a charismatic minority that does something wild like starve himself.  If they want to effectuate change than they need some martyrs that are willing to die for their cause (whatever that is).  seriously what is the endgame here.  Do they think that these greedy financial institutions, who with the help of the government have diluted the American Dream, turning it from a fine wine to a shity grape juice, will see the error of their ways and return all the money that they have hoarded like avaricious little squirrels.  Again I don't condone violence, but I don't see how non-violence will get these pusillanimous pricks closer to initiating the fundamental change that is necessary to save the weary.  All that can be done is take take a step back and have a chuckle.

Lazy Planner

This is not an endorsement to hurt the President of the United States.  I want to make it clear that I love this country so there is no need for the Secret Service to get involved because of the following commentary.  

AP picture of the alleged White House Shooter

If you are going fire weapons at the White House with the intent to maliciously hurt the president than make sure he is home.  Your going to get in trouble either way so you might as well go balls deep with your plan; you took the time to get guns and survey the area but you forgot the most important part of your plan, the whereabouts of your potential target.  For Christ’s nuts Obama’s trips to Hawaii and California were widely covered by the media.  He was at the televised North Carolina vs. Michigan State game that was held on the USS Carl Vinson, the ship that gave B. Lad his burial at sea.  What an asshole (both B. Lad and the dumb ass white house shooter)

I'd Vote for Putin

Vladamir Putin, Russia's Prime Minister, has come out with a very sexy commercial encouraging his young cool tovarisches to vote for the conservative Putin.  Putin is running for his third term as president and if his commercial delivers on its promise, well, god bless President Putin.  Here is a link to the video http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57323638-503544/russian-voting-booths-heat-up-in-new-ad/ 

If voting is like this, I have been doing it wrong for a long time.

Current Affairs

Ramita Navai's always ready for the business

Was watching Frontline on Syrian unrest, because it is very important to keep up with the goings on of the common struggling man, and I fell in love with Ramita Navai, the British journalist.  From that point on it was hard for me to sympathize with the plight of the Syrian dissidents; I was enthralled with Ramita’s dignified presence.  In the presence of fear she stood upright and continued to talk about resilience or something, I don’t really remember.  Goddamn she’s hot.  So fuck Bashar, because Ramita says so.