The Houla Hoop: Syrian Style

Syria has become synonymous with tragedy.  The acts that occurred in the Houla Region of Syria, summarily executing "uncooperative civilians", has sadly become the expected course for regimes trying to futilely cling to perceived innate powers.  what makes this incident more tragic is the Syrian governments attempts to slyly (in their minds) create a an atmosphere of misinformation, to support their rock solid claims, but in fact is vitrified and brittle.

WWGZD

When I am in a tight spot and I don't know what to do, I think to myself WWGZD.  This is a tried and true motto for any situation.

Retraction, Sort of.

This is regarding the Zimmerman post, calling him a bold face liar through comical and surreptitious means.  No he is not a Wolverine type mutant and yes he did have some visible signs of injury.  Yet he claimed that he had a broken nose and concussion like symptoms that aren't feasible given the evidence.  regardless of any physical harm that Trayvon Martin might have inflicted on Zimmerman, it stands to reason that Trayvon was only defending himself from Zimmerman who initiated all of the events that have now been etched into the Book of Mythical Infamy.  Because of Zimmerman a boy is dead and that is not under scrutiny.

Badass Jockeys

Mario Gomez, 115  libras of asskicktuitiveness. 

I'm watching the Preakness right now and something odd just came up.  It was the introduction of the jockeys, that alone is not the incredulous occurrence but standard practice, and they did the introductions the way they do some of the NFL player introductions.  You know the ones I am talking about.  Some scary looking dudes appear at the bottom of the television screen and says: Darnell Johnston, The U, or Dejuan Taylor, the University of Ohio State.  Very intimidating stuff.  The jockeys did the same thing but it was more risible than menacing.  Keep trying on those intros.

Born With Sun in Your Teeth, Dental Floss is Not Going To Work

I've always believed that the band Best Coast was best enjoyed in small doses.  They have catchy pop songs but they all seem to blend together if you are listening to them for a prolonged period (not to mention that the lyrics seem to be the same for every song, we get it California rules).  There new album, The Only Place, follows in that same vain, however it's peppered with more angst and cynicism than there previous outing.  If I were you I'd give it a listen.  Girls beware: you will empathize.

Attention Fatties

I highly recommend that people watch the HBO documentary, The Weight of The Nation.  It's a revelation for fat people all over the world.  This documentary will save lives; creating a platform to educate people on the benefits of proper caloric intake and physical activity.  If people don't want to get skinny for their own welfare, then they should do it for the people who have to look at them with contempt, embarrassment, and disgust.  Please do me a favor and lose the weight, I hate thorny situations.

Romney Get Off the Air

Hic iacet Romnrus, rex quondam, rexque futurus 

What is worst: bullying or taking recreational drugs?  According to Shawn Hannity the answer is the latter.  Labeling someone as a fag and then pinning him down and clipping his hair, seems like the actions of an abnormal teenager.  Then tell me, what fucking universe did Romney grow up in?  Oh that’s right a privileged life is correlated to aggressive behavior, only because those children of privileged lives have had it so bad.  I don’t want to judge the next republican presidential candidate for something he did as a kid, but at least fess up to it.  Don’t pretend like you don’t remember what your did.  Oh, I was under a witch’s spell.  Fuck you.    

Terrorist R & D

Original underwear bomb,  shit stains and all.

The so-called Master Bomb makers have been busy bees on PCP.  They have made leaps and bound, discovering new uses for PETN, the cheap yet effective explosive.  They started off putting it in some assholes shoes, than placed it on some punk’s shit stained undis, placed it in ink cartridges, and again in some underwear (fixated lot).  If they put as much effort into figuring out malevolent (but idiotic) forms of surreptitiously putting the explosive near or on a “high priority target”, they could have used that same gusto to figure out beneficial purposes for PETN.  What?  There already is a medical use for it.  Angina? What in the name of Ford is Angina?  No, that’s not going to cut it.  It needs to be a sexier malady in order to wean the terror mongers away from bombs and turn them into healing mongers.  Maybe we could use blood restriction to the heart, call these guys heart makers instead of bomb makers.  Right there I just ended the war on terror.  You’re welcome.  Angina.  That ugly sounding word aint going to put a dent on the War on Terror.

Pagan Idol

Tune in tonight as one of your Pagan Idols is eliminated.  Watch the Gorgon Stheno take on the less than intelligent Vanatühi.  Who will win your prayers decide.  

Wow these guys work quick.  Just hours after Obama's surprise pop-in to Afghanistan,  The Taliban have retaliated.  A cowardly car bomber and his cronies attacked a compound were non-Afghanis were  housed.  The Taliban hate the pop-in more than Jerry Seinfeld hates the pop-in.  Times like these, I wish for the existence of an all powerful deity that doles out judgement, Anubis 2.0.  But the universe is random and devoid of inherent meaning.  What's left?  Bleating and braying until my voice is horse

En Vivo

Do yourself a favor and listen to this live performance by Joy Division.  From the depths of anguish, this is Joy Division.

Adios Amigos

AP photo by Kevin Lamarque

Obama made a historical speech today announcing the States' complete withdrawal from Afghanistan.  Insert caveat here: by 2014.  Obama arrived in Kabul like a phantom under "the darkness of war" to sign a "strategic partnership agreement" with the incorruptible and oh so steadfast Hamid Karzai. Here's to two more years of unmitigated success.

China Sucks

Chairman Jintao

When I hear people say that they want to compete with China I instantly chuckle.  Ostensibly  I am laughing to my hearts content.  Deep down my fecal-filled colon clenches  because I am terrified of what "competing" with China entails: Cheap labor provide by the rural second-class citizenry (makes apartheid South Africa look like a hippie commune); horrible work conditions; forced sterilization and abortions; beating up blind people; and any other horrible conceptions that the Party can concoct for kicks.  Certain political players seem to are already taking measures to Chinafy this country by passing laws that regulate women's reproductive organs, suppress voter turnout, turn back fair wage laws, and other acts reserved for the darkest chambers of Pandemonium.  Finally to Cheng Guancheng I say: Keep your fingertips on the prize.

The UnApotheosis of Washington

The Apotheosis of Washington

People need a leader like George Washington.  These so-called leaders, that we ostensibly elect into power, seek out positions that grant them power, and what do they do with that power?  Fuck shit up.  We need a George Washington type to lead countries around the world.  I do not expound this belief because I have been indoctrinated, through many years of history lessons, to think that Gorge Washington is some sort of God figure, with Abraham Lincoln as his only begotten son.  But because he was a reluctant president and general who was damn good at being an administrator.  He knew how to manage situations and people so that shit would get done.  No platitudinous speeches.  NO BS.

Robotspierre

A Futuristic Reign of Terror

Scared of Death, Terrified of Life

Goya's Atropos

Just thought it was a pithy statement.

No backtracking Bullshit

Deer Hunter Ted Nugent had some words about Barack Obama's possible reelection.  He said if Barry were to be elected in November, he, meaning Ted, would be in jail or dead.  But now that the Secret Service is all up on his business, Ted Nugent is trying to pass his words as hyperbolic rhetoric.  I wish that conservatives would stick to their guns.

North Korean Missile: The high cost of assholedom

Picture from the AP

Wonder how much the long range missile that N. Korea fired today costs?  Its less than $1 billion but more than $1.  It cost $855 million dollars to launch a long range missile.  That's a lot of gaksu.  Don't be surprise if they're filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.

The Discovery of The First Super Powered Mutant

George “The Killer Man” Zimmermann has been identified as the first Super Powered Mutant.  These abilities first manifested themselves after he shot and killed Trayvon Martin.  His powers seem to be an advanced healing factor, which allows him to recover from bodily harm at a faster rate than your average dick-hole.  Although he sustained a massive beating from unarmed Trayvon, suffering a broken nose and a gash to the back of his head, video from the night of the attack depicts a healthy, unharmed Robert Zimmermann.  Even the clothes he wears seem to recover from damage.  Zimmerman’s power could have the potential for both military and haute couture applications.

Rodin Vs Godzilla

Makes you "think".

Cops Are Pussies

Cops shot some dude outside of a Monterey Park Car's Jr.  There has to be a better ways to subdue a man equipped with a crowbar especially if you have the numbers.  The Police were quoted as saying that the suspect swung his crowbar at them.  I think their definition of swing is different than the rest of the world.  Excessive force was obviously used by the police officers; the suspect was shot five times, went down, and was shot a few more times for good measure.  Cops have to deal with tough stressful situations and that fact can never be divorced from there occupations.  But seriously shooting the guy when he was already down, he must have taken another violent swing at the floor at the same time that he was swallowing his own blood.  Man up cops.  Employ some of your disarming techniques, hurl insults at the guy, throw rocks at the guy, talk him down, wear him out.  Don't try and make the job as simple as possible.  If it was, any asshole could carry a badge and a gun and shoot his way to commendations and promotions.