WWGZD

When I am in a tight spot and I don't know what to do, I think to myself WWGZD.  This is a tried and true motto for any situation.

Retraction, Sort of.

This is regarding the Zimmerman post, calling him a bold face liar through comical and surreptitious means.  No he is not a Wolverine type mutant and yes he did have some visible signs of injury.  Yet he claimed that he had a broken nose and concussion like symptoms that aren't feasible given the evidence.  regardless of any physical harm that Trayvon Martin might have inflicted on Zimmerman, it stands to reason that Trayvon was only defending himself from Zimmerman who initiated all of the events that have now been etched into the Book of Mythical Infamy.  Because of Zimmerman a boy is dead and that is not under scrutiny.

Badass Jockeys

Mario Gomez, 115  libras of asskicktuitiveness. 

I'm watching the Preakness right now and something odd just came up.  It was the introduction of the jockeys, that alone is not the incredulous occurrence but standard practice, and they did the introductions the way they do some of the NFL player introductions.  You know the ones I am talking about.  Some scary looking dudes appear at the bottom of the television screen and says: Darnell Johnston, The U, or Dejuan Taylor, the University of Ohio State.  Very intimidating stuff.  The jockeys did the same thing but it was more risible than menacing.  Keep trying on those intros.

Born With Sun in Your Teeth, Dental Floss is Not Going To Work

I've always believed that the band Best Coast was best enjoyed in small doses.  They have catchy pop songs but they all seem to blend together if you are listening to them for a prolonged period (not to mention that the lyrics seem to be the same for every song, we get it California rules).  There new album, The Only Place, follows in that same vain, however it's peppered with more angst and cynicism than there previous outing.  If I were you I'd give it a listen.  Girls beware: you will empathize.

Attention Fatties

I highly recommend that people watch the HBO documentary, The Weight of The Nation.  It's a revelation for fat people all over the world.  This documentary will save lives; creating a platform to educate people on the benefits of proper caloric intake and physical activity.  If people don't want to get skinny for their own welfare, then they should do it for the people who have to look at them with contempt, embarrassment, and disgust.  Please do me a favor and lose the weight, I hate thorny situations.

Romney Get Off the Air

Hic iacet Romnrus, rex quondam, rexque futurus 

What is worst: bullying or taking recreational drugs?  According to Shawn Hannity the answer is the latter.  Labeling someone as a fag and then pinning him down and clipping his hair, seems like the actions of an abnormal teenager.  Then tell me, what fucking universe did Romney grow up in?  Oh that’s right a privileged life is correlated to aggressive behavior, only because those children of privileged lives have had it so bad.  I don’t want to judge the next republican presidential candidate for something he did as a kid, but at least fess up to it.  Don’t pretend like you don’t remember what your did.  Oh, I was under a witch’s spell.  Fuck you.    

Terrorist R & D

Original underwear bomb,  shit stains and all.

The so-called Master Bomb makers have been busy bees on PCP.  They have made leaps and bound, discovering new uses for PETN, the cheap yet effective explosive.  They started off putting it in some assholes shoes, than placed it on some punk’s shit stained undis, placed it in ink cartridges, and again in some underwear (fixated lot).  If they put as much effort into figuring out malevolent (but idiotic) forms of surreptitiously putting the explosive near or on a “high priority target”, they could have used that same gusto to figure out beneficial purposes for PETN.  What?  There already is a medical use for it.  Angina? What in the name of Ford is Angina?  No, that’s not going to cut it.  It needs to be a sexier malady in order to wean the terror mongers away from bombs and turn them into healing mongers.  Maybe we could use blood restriction to the heart, call these guys heart makers instead of bomb makers.  Right there I just ended the war on terror.  You’re welcome.  Angina.  That ugly sounding word aint going to put a dent on the War on Terror.

Pagan Idol

Tune in tonight as one of your Pagan Idols is eliminated.  Watch the Gorgon Stheno take on the less than intelligent Vanatühi.  Who will win your prayers decide.  

Wow these guys work quick.  Just hours after Obama's surprise pop-in to Afghanistan,  The Taliban have retaliated.  A cowardly car bomber and his cronies attacked a compound were non-Afghanis were  housed.  The Taliban hate the pop-in more than Jerry Seinfeld hates the pop-in.  Times like these, I wish for the existence of an all powerful deity that doles out judgement, Anubis 2.0.  But the universe is random and devoid of inherent meaning.  What's left?  Bleating and braying until my voice is horse

En Vivo

Do yourself a favor and listen to this live performance by Joy Division.  From the depths of anguish, this is Joy Division.

Adios Amigos

AP photo by Kevin Lamarque

Obama made a historical speech today announcing the States' complete withdrawal from Afghanistan.  Insert caveat here: by 2014.  Obama arrived in Kabul like a phantom under "the darkness of war" to sign a "strategic partnership agreement" with the incorruptible and oh so steadfast Hamid Karzai. Here's to two more years of unmitigated success.